To my dear Jeans,
Thank you for your unending service to me these past few years. From the moment I tried you on at an indoor bazaar in Shanghai, I knew we would be best friends. You had just the right amount of stretch, the perfect amount of sass (you gotta, since you are knockoff Calvin Kleins after all), the precise shade of blue that I needed in my life at the time, and just a hint of bootcuttedness (which is very hard to find in a world of super skinny & wide leg jeans).
We’ve gone leg-in-leg through some of the biggest milestones of my life so far: birthday numero 21!, the transition from college to the Internship that Changed Everything, real world jobs at TGR, and of course, The Shoppe.
Oh look, here we are at one of the very first days of working at The Restaurant. Jeans, you look good, even under the unflattering, defeminizing gear known as the chef coat & apron.
I have tried wearing other pants to work, but none compare to your quiet strength. Some pants make my legs too hot, some are hard to move in, and some just suck.
You have always been so reliable. Whether kneeling on rubber kitchen mats (gross), assisting with sweeping mysterious things off the kitchen floor, or keeping my legs safe from boiling hot liquids, you have been there.
You have also been there for me on the regular days too. Remember the very first time I wore you to school? I was biking and got one pant leg caught in the gears of the bicycle and wound up tearing a hole on the cuff. And of course, you kept my legs warm as I took cat naps in Cognitive Development class, cuz you so sweet like that.
But now you are worn out. Your blue is fading, your stretch is pretty much all stretched out, and (readers, be forewarned, this may be TMI but it must be said) my feminine thighs have made holes in the thigh region. (Not pictured, you dirty Polly Perverts). That is how much I loved you. I wore you so often you had holes!
So for now, sweet Blue Jeans, I bid you adieu. Thank you for three years of good times. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. Best friends forever!
Love,
Me.
